Naturally, I fell behind in all things TV. I had friends talking about various shows and awesomeness of which I was missing out daily. I suddenly realized the err of my ways. How could I be considered cool if I couldn't contribute to these discussions? How would I ever fit in? My desire to become cool greatly outweighed how poor I was. I was desperate. Insane with envy and longing. Eventually, I got married and all of my problems were solved. Well, I'm still not cool, but I have cable.
Win.
I quickly became a ravenous monster who was satiated only by devouring weeknight television shows. I can calmly admit [now] that most of them are terrible. Even though I was completely addicted, I heard the voice in the back of my head, pleading with me to peel my eyeballs from the screen. It nagged at me while I stared unblinking at the crap that filtered through the TV. I did not care. I shoved that voice into the nether regions of my brain. Destroyed by hours upon hours of pointless shows. Once, at Applebees, I waited with bated breath as everyone began to talk about their favorite shows. And then the moment came. It was my turn. I struggled to contain my excitement. I took a deep breath, and I CONTRIBUTED. finally!!! TRIUMPH! ELATION! Then I was like a coked-up chimp. I couldn't stop. My mouth, completely of its own accord, spewed forth facts upon facts of television shows. Everyone else at the table stopped speaking and stared at me with wide, fear-filled eyes as I continued at a fevered pitch practically choking on my spit trying to divulge how much TV I watched, and therefore magically convincing everyone that I was a cool kid, too! BELIEVE ME DAMMITTTTT! I suddenly realized that I was sweating.
The reality of my situation came crashing down upon me. With increasing embarrassment, I saw myself as I was: A crazed TV zombie.
Immediately upon this realization, I sat quietly at the table, contemplating my next logical move. There was no way to cover up my insane explosion of TV knowledge. I was exposed, and now, I had to find a way to redeem myself. I vowed to ignore TV. I was done with it. We were breaking up. I mentioned once that the only time I can laser-focus is while I'm running. While this is true, I was determined to take up a more reputable hobby such as knitting or manufacturing meth. The Applebees incident was on a Tuesday. I made it to Friday.
Normally on a Friday night, I would be out at one of Husband's shows. He's a musician, not a stripper. Just to clarify. This fateful Friday, I wasn't feeling all that "pretty" so i chose to have a cozy night-in with my new zit. I decided to reward my good behavior with some light TV-watching. Hey, I kept my promise for a couple of days. I deserved a few minutes of TV time. I felt marginally certain that I could control myself and the inner TV beast. As I flipped through the channels, I was accosted by the terrible reality shows that were dominating cable. Out of sheer terror of relapsing, I raced through the channels to find something, anything that wasn't reality TV. That's when I found it. Supernatural.
I don't care who you are. That show is awesome. Not only are all the main characters really, really ridiculously good-looking, but the story line is CLEVER [which is completely and totally lacking in other shows]. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you, based on my previous addiction to television, that I was immediately addicted to this show. [I should mention that I am intrigued by all things ghosts, demons, haunted, etc. I love it and I want more of it.] This show blew my mind. I could feel the ravenous television beast stirring inside me. I needed more, and I needed it immediately. You'll be relieved to know that I got my fix and then some. Supernatural saved me from myself and TV rehab. My only regret is that I was such a late Supernatural-bloomer. Don't judge me.
Of course, Husband heard all about the show. I even convinced him to watch it one rare Friday night that he was not playing. He likes it, too. This is pretty much exactly what we look like:
Win.
If you don't watch this show, you should. If you have watched this show and you don't like it, we literally cannot be friends. Dems da facts. [I have never used this phrase before and feel slightly self-conscious.]
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