Why I'll Never Be President or the World Poker Tour Champion

I have mentioned in previous posts that I have trouble focusing. This can be directly linked to what goes on inside my brain at any given moment:

Because of the little man in my brain, I'm easily distracted and prone to boredom. Reason #1 why I could never do anything involving really tough, globally-relevant decisions. [I can recycle though so I'm not a total loss.]

This is an abridged list of things that induce boredom/irritation almost immediately:

1. Fake people and/or people who talk to me only because Husband is a successful musician.
2. MSNBC Morning Joe [seriously. they are still on the air?]
3. Chronic Interrupters [you are an abomination.]*

Now that we've reached a new level of understanding, I'd like to think that none of the above applies to you and we can resume our friendship as soon as possible.

There are a few things that happen when I'm confronted with the items in the above list:

1. I 'rutch' [this means to flop around uselessly.]
2. I usually march around to alert Husband to my boredom. He then initiates Operation Save Wife From Herself. 
3. I develop a persistent and often visible eye twitch. 
4. In severe cases, I walk away. [this is classic avoidance behavior.]

Husband likes to say that I get "punchy." I can only assume this means that I'm allowed to punch people because of my heightened state of boredom. I have yet to test this theory. Reason #2 why I could never be in charge of a country.

To make matters worse, I suffer from a debilitating lack of control over my facial muscles. Let me explain: any emotion I'm feeling in my body will be displayed on my face. This ranges from happiness to fury. The transition that my face goes through is proportional to the offense. I am, after all, able to control some of my reactions [most of the time.] So that you understand where I'm coming from and what to expect from me, I have developed a helpful scale:

There are certain topics and people that cause me to transition quickly from Normal to Dino-bear. I do not take pride in this, but I am 27 and therefore understand that this is who I am. Compounded by this is the fact that I HATE to waste time. My time, your time, dance time, etc. No one needs that. 

You can see why this would be a problem for anyone who is around me and why I could never be in a position of global power or win the World Poker Tour. I think Dino-bear would be a huge tell. 

*I plan on covering the topic of chronic interrupters in another blog tentatively called "The Most Annoying Person You'll Ever Know."